Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr Right

Comments

1. Gagewyn says:

   March 12, 2010 at 1:24 pm

   I read this expecting horrible mind games and drivel. (Read it as feminist exploration, since it was touted as a return to the submissive past.) I was suprised to find a mix of the arbitrary and the extreemly practical and insightful. Each chapter give a Rule (always capitalized) and then goes into the ins and outs of the Rule and the rationale behind it. The reasons given were sometimes arbitrary. Fein and Schneider repeatedly say “If you didn’t dance with anyone/didn’t have fun/are still single, then at least you did the Rules.” OK. That’s not really an ends – it’s more of a means. However almost any other reasons given were full of insight. The rules themselves seem arbitrary, but from the way this is written it seems the focus here is to keep the woman from obsessing.

   I have known women who obsess over men often and end up crying over men who never had a clue that the woman had built up a fantasy in her head. To some extent women have a tendency to build up irrational relationships and may misinterpret things men do. (Men should be right with me here.) They then build up expectations and become angry at men for not fulfilling these expectations. Also to some degree women tend to build castles in the sky around and heap expectations on whoever they are attracted to. The Rules are mostly designed to prevent the woman from doing this to herself and being completely neurotic.

   For example, the Rule of not making a date for Saturday if it’s later in the week than Wednesday: The chapter on this discusses how it’s important not to make plans with the man before he asks. If a woman is willing to accept a last minute invite, then she is either with a dull social life or has specifically kept that busy night reserved for that invite. (Warning, warning: What if a woman the man is hardly aware of has done this too.) So, don’t plan to be with him Saturday – make other plans instead unless he asked you out. (That one should be out and about Saturday is a given.) Men probably don’t want their girlfriend making other plans, but absolutely do want it from random women who have built up a fantasy relationship in thier heads. The solution: men can call the women they are interested in ahead of time and then everyone’s Saturdays are fixed.

   I recommend this book to “emotional” women and to the general population. The target audience, women who want to read a book about dating and sit doting on men for hours, is exactly dead on who needs this advice. Friends might consider intervening there. Also other women (and men) will find this a worthwhile read. (Obviously, men don’t do the Rules – yall need to be calling and asking ladies out before Thursday.) It teases out objective rules to keep from building castles in the sky with someone who is not so interested in you.
   Rating: 4 / 5
2. KIm Goldstein says:

   March 12, 2010 at 3:57 pm

   I know of more than one woman who followed “THe Rules” to a T and consider it a wild success because it did indeed get them married. Married to men who are overbearing and have little consideration for them as “holistic beings” but rather they are always “performing.” It seems laborious on a long-term basis and the women are not gratified. I also know several women who followed the rules religiously during the dating process and the men ended up just being the wrong men who were unable to reciprocate their wish for a substantive relationship, leaving them feeling even more like failures because they did everything right! Would that there were easy answers though this book has some good points to make, it’s no guarantee that you’ll “capture your Mr. Right.” The authors make no allowances for thes kinds of scenarios which, sadly, are all too common.
   Rating: 1 / 5